What is forgiveness? What is letting go? I have come to the realization that my perceptions of the past are really messed up. There are things I've blocked from my memory, and other things I remember totally different from other people. WOW, so how do I sort out who I need to forgive and for what? I would hate to work on forgiving someone for something they didn't even do. Or hold on to all the hard feelings, and not even try to forgive based on a lifetime of memories that aren't true.
As I have been praying to be able to see things more clearly. I have been blessed with a couple of miracles. First, what is true and what isn't doesn't really matter. Yep, people have wronged me, some people have wronged me over and over. Some people still wrong me. The only thing that matters is that I accept that their trespasses are not between them and me. Their trespasses have been paid for by our loving Savior, Jesus Christ. He is asking me to accept His payment for their trespasses.
Second, I have learned that maybe forgiveness isn't something I do, maybe it is done for me. I just get to let go. Especially, when the person being forgiven isn't even asking forgiveness. As I have come through the past several months. I have a desire to forgive people that have wronged me. I held all the usual questions. Why should I forgive such horrendous acts against me? How will they pay for their wrong? What about others that were wronged too?
As I have prayed to be able to see things more clearly, my heart has found peace. I wonder if just having a sincere desire to forgive is all the human heart can do on its own?
It is a beautiful spring morning; the birds are singing their joyful song as I walk along an old dirt road. Up ahead of me, a silhouette of a man I can barely make out. As I reach Him, His hand stretched for mine with a smile on his face, He softly whispers “I've been waiting for you.” Taking His hand, we continue my walk down the dirt road. I can feel the heart piercing marks in His hands as they gently press against mine. A burning whisper in my heart, “let the trespasses of those who have wronged you be upon me.” “let me, be enough.”
Soon we find ourselves standing in the middle of an open meadow. The newness of this spring day, brings life. Peace settles around us, as the whippoorwill cries, “You are my pretty little girl.” The morning breeze rustles the newly sprouted leaves of the trees. The beautiful meadow is void of history, and full of promise. The promise of a new life. A new life in Him.