Thanks for visiting my blog. I have a strong belief in the preservation of family. I love keeping records and memorabilia of our family and everything we do. I have created a website to share some of the wonderful memories I have of my family and of many others that I have been blessed to have been behind the camera for. I invite you to visit my photography website, while you are there if you would like to schedule a photo setting all the information is there. I am a Scrap 4 Hire, which means, I will gladly preserve your family history for you. All you have to do is make the memories.... When you are done here, please visit

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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Monday, March 11, 2013

Oh, The Places You'll Go!!!!

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by  Dr. Seuss
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

Thursday, March 7, 2013


Truly one of the most difficult aspects of my recovery journey was learning to be a friend to myself. There is a quote by Randall Jarrell that says, “If you have been put into your place long enough, you begin to act like the place.” All of my life, from childhood until I came to this program, other people had defined my self-worth and according to them I wasn’t worth much.

It was like I had this tug-of-war going on inside myself. Part of me felt worthless and another part of me was defiant and demanded that I be accepted and treated with respect. Unfortunately the defiant side came out just that way - defiant. Which did not endear me to anyone. Of course that rejection just added to my low self-esteem. Every time I compared myself to someone else I came up short. Every time I made a mistake, regardless of how small, it just confirmed that I was a looser in my own mind. I would beat myself up for the smallest of things. Even for things that weren’t even my fault.

It was through this program and these steps that I learned about self-acceptance. It was through this program and these steps that I began to understand, recognize and acknowledge how the events in my life had molded me to the person that I was at that time. It was through this program and these steps I learned that my past did not have to be my future. I know I harp about the program and these steps but, I am hear to tell you that that broken person above does not exist today because of this program and these steps.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Just Not Perfect

I have taken on the task of making myself and hubby a quilt!!! Over the years, I made several twin size quilts for my kidlets, but never a larger one and never one for myself and hubby. Last year, I saw some fabric, that I just loved, and it happened to be on sale...Go figure. I decided I'd make a Queen sized quilt for myself and hubby.

Little did I know what a huge task this was going to be. I love denim jeans! I mean I really love denim jeans. So I collected all the jeans I could to make the back of this quilt. I cute squares, and squares, and more squares from all the jeans I collected. Then I began to sew them together. While I was sewing them I didn't realize the stretch that was happening. Strip by strip, I was loving how the denim was taking shape....Now it was time for the strips to be sewn together...This is where the frustration started to set in. The squares didn't fit together, perfectly. In the beginning I was frustrated. I unpicked and unpicked, and then sorta gave up. All the strips ended up back in the box, and I didn't work on them for months.

One day, I had the thought that the quilt might look good with the squares misaligned. I started sewing strips together again. Finally the day came, when it was time to put the back on the quilt frames. Much to my surprise, and my heartache. The denim back was a mess!!!! It wouldn't fit right on the frame. I was heart broken. To make it worse, my family all knew of my disaster. Not only was I heartbroken, but I was embarrassed. Quickly, I crumbled up the denim blocks that only a few minutes ago I was so happy about, and tossed it in the box.

Fast forward more than a year later, because there isn't much to tell about a bunch of denim blocks collecting dust. I was impressed with how I could fix the blocks and make them work out. I procrastinated this impression for several months. Finally, this past week, I found the courage to try again. 

I unpicked the bad blocks and resewed them the way my mind guided me. Nope it isn't perfect. There is nothing about this quilt that is perfect. Yesterday I spent several hours, setting the quilt back up on my quilt frames. 

Here's a picture of the denim blocks...As I was setting the denim  back on to the frame I seriously considered throwing it away. I considered starting over, and figuring out how to right my wrongs. My dear friend said something to me. She said, "There is no right or wrong in art." My thought in reply, is this quilt wouldn't win any awards at the county fair. Although, my response is likely true, is my thought a thinking error or not????

Here is the reason I'm posting this post...First, I love my quilt. I love the flaws in my quilt. I'm not secure enough to show off my quilt, or enter it in the county fair. Here is what I learned from my quilt. I learned that the pioneer women that laid the foundation for me to be here making my own quilt. Their quilts are beautiful, but certainly not perfect. My quilt can be too. I learned, it's perfectly alright for me not to be perfect! Every time I look at my not perfect quilt, I will be lovingly reminded that I can create something beautiful and it doesn't have to be perfect. I love to tie quilts, I don't particularly like to quilt and that's great. I'm doing what I love, not what everyone else is doing. 

As I write this, I feel like I want to make another large quilt...I want to try again. I want to make it better. I want to enjoy creating and becoming good at being a modern pioneer in my own life.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Restless Mind Syndrome

Over the weekend I have found my mind, whirling. I have even caught a few sleepless nights, with what I call "Restless Mind Syndrome."

I'm not even sure how to put into words, what I'm going through. It is definitely a struggle between my 'good' angel on one shoulder and the 'evil' angel on the other.  I feel a pull towards something, and I desire to follow that pull. My problem is I don't know what I'm being pulled towards.

I have a strong desire to do certain things, which aren't really relevant to talk about here. They aren't relevant because your walk is different than mine. You need to follow your sense, and I need to follow mine. That's just the point. Following a sense, seems to be rather simple, at least most of the time. 

My sense is vague, and is requiring faith. It's like I'm only given a small, small sense at a time. It isn't a sense that is making me feel anxiousness, or desirous  to know more. Somehow, I know, I really know, that I am being given a piece at a time, and all I need to do, is this one little doable piece. There is peace in the pieces....
Everyday, all day, I have a sense to do something, and I just do it. Pretty simple. So totally, out of my character flaws, so out of my co-dependent mindset. Meanwhile, my mind is stuck in high creative, Restless Mind Syndrome. 

Friday, March 1, 2013


I was so wounded, so lost, so insecure that I did not know how to be in healthy relationships with other people. When I met someone I liked, or that I was drawn to, I would try (a sub-conscious decision by the way) to reinvent myself to be what I thought they would like. My focus was on what I needed to do to make them happy. Over and over again I would sacrifice myself. I did things I did not want to do or even like, just to make them like me. It never worked by the way. Oh they took what I had to offer and used me. But the relationship was always lopsided. I gave they took.

Really? Hello! What in the heck was I thinking? Dysfunctional relationships usually don’t come without warnings! Now it is as clear as day. But at the time it never occurred to me that, if I was not being true to myself, if I had to pretend to be something I wasn’t that maybe I should reevaluate this relationship. Or maybe I should not go there at all.

I was carrying around a lot of baggage when I came into this program. I had contempt and self-pity for myself - anger, resentment and jealously for others. These amazing steps helped me to heal. The first Step was a reality check. My life and how I lived it was out of control. In Steps 2 and 3 I found the power source - God- for my healing and restoration. When I surrendered myself and my life to God’s care, I got myself out of the way so that the necessary changes in me that needed to be made could me made.

My life reconstruction began in Steps 4 and 5. For the first time I began to recognize and understand the right and wrong in myself and in my relationships. In steps 8 and 9 I was able to forgive myself and others for shame and guilt of sins past. With that forgiveness came healing and restoration.

I love, love, love this program and these Steps. The steps use the word we, our, us and God. Folks this tells “us” we are not alone. Looking around my recovery community I could see that there have been others before me that have been through all that I have been through and more. They not only survived, but they have a good life. That told me two things - I did not have to be held captive to my past hurts and mistakes and that I did not have to fight this battle alone.

I am not unique. Neither is my story. There are people in cities everywhere with some version of my story. I share my life’s journey and expose life’s ups and downs most every day on this page for one reason only. Hope. There is truly hope for anyone that wants it. But you have to want it bad enough to give this program a try.

I have learned that I am not perfect and never will be. I have learned to get back up when I fall down. I have found unconditional friendship and support. And, I have found peace, joy and laughter in my life.

If you have enjoyed what you've read, I would like to invite you to share this post on your social media sites. Thank you for your support.