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Friday, April 8, 2011


I want to say that I don't care if people forgive me, that wouldn't be true. I still want people to love me. I've gone to great measure to push people away, and to wall them out of my life. I will hurt you before you can hurt me, sort of thing.

Even thought I've gone to that extreme those people are still with me, haunting me. They are missing out on the gifts I was born to give them. Forgiveness isn't for them. Their lives will go one even if they never hear from me again. Forgiveness is for me. Forgiveness is for me to take responsibility for hurting others. I've hurt others, and a lot of times I've hurt them so that they can't hurt me, which hurts me anyway. Crazy thinking, I know.

As I sit here. I feel impressed that I want to reach out to people and ask their forgiveness not so I can be seen, not so that I can be forgiven, but so they can start to separate what happened between us. I know I hold a lot of things personally. If someone where to ask my forgiveness, I would be given the opportunities to let it go and not hold it personally. I have a hard time seeing what is mine, and what isn't. I wonder if anyone is sitting there thinking how could I have wronged Tisha like that? OR I not going to take that step towards being friends with that person because of the disaster with Tisha....I don't want people holding back their lives because of me and my distorted behavior.

Luke 6:37-38 :”Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye sh;; not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.
Give, and it shall be given you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”

The first thought that comes to my mind, is rather silly, but I'm going to say it anyway. It sounds like a receipie. When you make something, you use good measure, press the ingredients down (especially the sweet stuff), it all gets shaken or mixed together. If it's me it runs all over. There is always enough for everyone's enjoyment.

Maybe that's how Christ meant life to be? When we serve others in compassion, usually we bake some yummy treat. We can do that with life too. With a good measure we can withhold judgment and condemnation. Press down the forgiveness and let what's left over run over.

I am going to try to live like this so that I can bring a sweetness of life in my life, my families life, and to all those around me. 

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