Sadness and loss surround me and my family this week. I'm not sure about how to write this in order to protect the privacy of those involved, while still being able to convey the depth of the heartache that is evident in our family.
When you wake up in the morning knowing that something is missing in life, usually you go looking for it. It seems like we always feel safer when we are surrounded with the people and things that make up our lives. What happens when the missing thing in your life is a relationship that usually is assumed is just there and strong? This relationship could be a relationship with siblings or with children. Maybe we all have a relationship that is strained and needs repair.
As you could assume, we reached out to these relationships, assuming that our reaching out would be lovingly welcomed. We looked forward to forging strong lasting eternal family bonds. Instead we were met with accusations, hate, and bitter grudges. At one point things even resulted in physical harm. The hurt and sadness on both sides of this runs deeps and emotions are high. Sleepless nights, long lonely days. The feelings of abandonment, and loneliness abound all around. In someways naturally we search out all stable relationships in our lives and check their security.
The loss, the emotional heartache that runs through our family, is so sad. It's hard to not be bitter, and hateful toward those who reject you. It's hard not to allow your thoughts to be consumed with allegations, and justifications. There is comfort in Christ's final words, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
I can't help consider the depth of pain Christ feels when His family rejects Him. It is widely taught and accepted that Christ suffered physically the pains of abuse from those who rejected Him. What I haven't stopped to consider is the emotional pain He must have felt personally. When those you love, reject you especially in a harsh way is a sort of pain that stabs deep into your heart. How does the story of Judas betraying Christ, by denying him three times a reflection of families in today's world that reject curly their family? Something even sadder, is not only did Christ suffer for emotions of those who reject Him, but for those who reject us.
Today in the mist of this heartache, with a deeper understanding of long-suffering, and patience we will strive to have a heart of peace, and lean on Christ for strength to be sustained in this time, as we search our hearts to forgive and to be forgiven.