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Monday, February 28, 2011

Surrendering to my lies?

It is so hard to step back and see other people in pain, and know that there is nothing I should do. Anything I might do, would likely be a mistake. I need to allow people their free agency, and their growing pains.

I have learned so much through my journey. I want to utilize step 12 (Share this message with others). Really what I want to do, is use step 12 as my justification to tell others what to do, and what is best for them! You know, that I know what is best.

What does it take to accept that other people are in a place of learning and acceptance themselves? These people aren't just people, they are our adult kids, which makes me want to use that fact as a justification of jump in and help them. The only thing that keeps me from jumping in is the idea, that if I help, I limit them from learning and growing into their own. When I limit people I love from learning and growing, I now feel terrible. I can look into the past and see how damaging it is to them. My love for them right now is requiring me not to help them. That is so hard. Seeing someone I love struggle is so painful.

I silently worry about them, and wish for things in their lives to be different. I have to diligently focus on acceptance. They are where they are are for their own good! They will learn more from this experience from me not helping, them from me helping.

If I surrender to this and help in an inappropriate way I only surrender to my lies, my boxes.

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