It is so easy to slip away from what keeps me strong. It is so easy for me to just drift along. Today I also found out that it is so easy to help someone in need. A friend asked me for some advise, and I just freely talked about what kinds of things that have helped my life. It was good to hear my own advise. It reminded me that I need to be more committed to my recovery.
For this past year, I have been so off physically. The fatigue, headaches, and depression can be so overwhelming that I slip into this place of nothingness. To gather the motivation to take one more step forward can seem so far away, and unachievable. I know that usually it is easier to put on the “happy” mask, and go masquerading around as if nothing is wrong. It is all a lie, a lie to myself, and to all those around me.
I have a friend that posted on my Facebook the other day that she has a friend that lives just a block away and never sees her...I love this friend of mine so much. I feel even sadder that I can't give anything to our friendship especially after all she has done to take care of my daughter (especially when I can't).
If I'm being honest I have to tell you that things are really out of my control, especially my physical health. As you all know I grew up with my mother teaching me to live holisticly, and I have continued to live and learn various natural ways to live and to treat aliments. In the spirit of letting go and letting God, I am turning to the medical profession to seek out help for my physical aliments that I can't find relief from holisticly. So far, I've only been able to achieve minimal relief. I'm learning that it took many years for me to get this bad, it is going to take time to heal. My body has developed some poor habits that need to be reprogrammed. This morning I read this phrase, “If you have faith, then you must have faith in Gods time.”
Here I am fighting off the urge to slip into my place of nothingness, and take one more step forward in my healing journey spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically...Thanks for following my blog, it really makes me feel so supported. Please consider helping my blog site, by visiting my sponsor ads while you are here.