Resentments were like a cancer eating me from the inside out, yet I struggled with letting go. The 4th Step helped me see my pay-off for hanging on to them. One of several reasons is that they served as a guard dog to protect me from the people that had hurt me. My anger and resentment held them at arms length. What I did not realize is that even though I maybe holding them at arms length they still owned me. By not forgiving and holding on to my resentments I allowed the people that hurt me to keep hurting me even after they had moved on. If I wanted to heal and be free I had forgive them and let go of my resentments. (I'm borrowing this thought from Codependent Life-A Facebook Page)
In all honesty, sometimes, I find it hard to put words to my feelings. This morning as I read this thought, I realized she was describing me. First, I want to express my gratitude to a wonderful Father in Heaven. Feeling this emotional connection to the wonderful Facebook contributor, means to me that I'm not a lone in my pain, and that Heavenly Father Knows me, and has paved my path with beautiful angels for me on my journey.
Coming back to yesterday's post, I'm so thankful for the void of resentments in the ending of this long standing relationship. I've learned so much, I've grown so much and I'm so thankful that this relationship ended the way that it did. I'm thankful I stayed present through the pain, and realized my powerlessness to be here now.