Forgiveness, Forgiveness, Forgiveness—There are so many aspects of forgiveness that have affected my life. I have been very angry with people, especially family members that have hurt me. I hold grudges, and retaliate without considering the consequences. As I have spent this past year working the 12-step program, I have come to learn that so many things aren't as I perceived them. Yep, I've been wronged by other people. I'm sure you have to. BUT...when I've been wronged, I have blown it out of perportion and claimed V-Victim. I have further created stories and lies about the wrong that have also turned others away or made them feel victimized as well, in order to build my case stronger.
I have spent a great deal of time on step 4-Inventory--- If I am taking an honest inventory of my life. I must seek the truth, and be willing to set my memories and beliefs aside.
Many of the people that wronged me, did it unintentionally, or in a self-preservation mode for themselves. I have learned and begun to understand the motivation of these people my heart has broken, and begun to soften and empathize for these people and the pain they are in. I also have to consider how often to I wrong others unintentionally, or in a self-preservation mode myself.
How does forgiveness play a role here? As I have come to this place of love and peace I can offer forgiveness in my heart towards those that have wronged me. More importantly, I must ask for forgiveness from them...Why? I have wronged them by blowing things out of perportion, and claiming such an extreme victim. For viliainizing them, for things I'm just as guilty for.
A separate aspect of forgiveness is the forgiveness of myself. We will look at that tomorrow.