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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Step 6 When we become impatient or discouraged

Today, I was considering one of the questions in step 6 about having a change of heart. I know that when I work the steps and answer the questions, I find myself less and less in victim mode and my answers become more and more positive. I want to thank my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for the healing that They have brought into my life.

Sometimes we become impatient or discouraged that recovery is an ongoing process. These verses show the Savior's and our Heavenly Father's patience with us as “little children.” Apply these verses to yourself by writing them out addressed to you personally.

D&C 50 40-42
40Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.
 41Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me;
 42And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.

This is a really inspiring scripture to me because like right now I feel really strong in my recovery and in my process to build my relationship with Christ and Heavenly Father. At any given moment some crazy life event like the kids will start fighting, the bills will need to be paid, dinner will need to be made, the truck will need gas and an oil change, animals need feed, laundry will need to be washed and folded, oh yeah, I was just reminded that my little gal needs to have homemade treats for young women's tonight.

I always start to feel overwhelmed and wonder how everything will get done. I start feeling anxiety, and I want everything to be perfect, and of course instantaneous, and I take on the pressure of the world upon myself. No way will I ask for help, or accept it if it is offered. Guess what, I will get short tempered and resentful that no one is helping...Sounds crazy doesn't it?

How does my expectations of my “little children” related to the expectations that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for me? If I consider my parental views of my children what would I say?

Most of the time, I am understanding, and compassionate with my children when they make mistakes. I talk to them, about how I see things and how I think things should go. I want my children to talk to me, and express their feelings, fears, and their celebrations. I delight when they recognize and say thank you for the simple things in life. Out of my six children, they haven't done anything that lessons my love for them. In fact, our oldest son has made some pretty poor choices. I have always had faith in him, that his true self will come through. Guess what, it's coming through...I'm so proud of him. He is growing into the man I always knew was there. I can tell similar stories for the other five as well.

I'd like to believe that our Father in Heaven feels similar to these feelings that I have toward my children but toward me. He isn't expecting me to act or be an adult with the limited knowledge of truth that I have as a child. I must grow in His grace, just like the children in my stewardship.

Next time I feel impatient or discouraged, I'm going to remember this lesson. I think there is huge value to learn as a Child of God in learning more about how he sees me and what he expects from me.

Journal Action: Journal this scripture with your name put into the scripture just like the question suggested. I urge you not to just settle for putting your name into the scripture but through prayer and pondering contemplate the vast beauty these verses have to offer you.

Again, I'd love to hear anything about how you have experiences on your road to recovery.

May Angels Walk With You, 

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