What happens the moment the realization comes that we are at peace? Since I have been working the ARP 12 step program, progressively more and more the realization of peace comes. At first when I had these realizations of peace I felt, almost as if my life was missing a fundamental key element. I began searching for this missing element. My going through this process of realizing that something was missing and searching to find it, was usually my first realization. I would slowly realize that the weakness or negative emotion that normally accompanied me in these moments was replaced by a peace, a peace that can only be obtained through coming unto Christ.
Jim is going to California, by way of Phoenix Arizona. He is planning on a 35 hour drive. Normally, I would be a wreck, coming up with all the what ifs...and negative scenarios that I could come up with. With the help of Satan I have come up with some pretty wild tales. As I was sitting here waiting for my class to start I recognized I wasn't putting myself or Jim through the torment that in the past has always accompanied his trips.
As I began to write this entry I realized that I had an invitation to recognize I was at peace with this early this morning. I remember pushing this sense of peace a side, ignoring the blessings I could have enjoyed all day for a sense of nothingness. I have to admit the nothingness was better than the fears, but not as sweet as the peace that comes through coming to Christ.
In the silence of this moment, my heart is filled with gratitude for this gift and the blessings that come in peace.
January 25th, Jim has just pulled out for his trip to California. I feel a sense of loneliness, and sadness, all selfish feelings. Love sometimes brings with it undesired feelings, but instead of feeling like I need to battle these feelings off, I feel grateful for the love from and toward the greatest husband I could be blessed with.
When you receive the blessing of peace in your life, what do you do to recognize this peace and acknowledge this peace in your own heart, and towards Christ?