“Alma’s son Corianton thought it unfair that penalties must follow sin, that there need be punishment. In a profound lesson, Alma taught the plan of redemption to his son and so to us. Alma spoke of the Atonement and said, “Now, repentance could not come unto men except there were a punishment” (Alma 42:16).
If punishment is the price repentance asks, it comes at bargain price. Consequences, even painful ones, protect us. So simple a thing as a child’s cry of pain when his finger touches fire can teach us that. Except for the pain, the child might be consumed. “ Boyd K. Packer, “Who Is Jesus Christ?,” Ensign, Mar 2008, 12–19
The pains and learning from consequences will, if I choose to benefit from them, turn me from repeating the bad behavior. (See Alma the younger in Alma 36.) The “allowance” that God makes for me is allowing me to experience the consequence, and then He with all the compassion that He is capable of, allows the consequences to run their course and while they do, as I repent, He gives me the Holy Ghost to help me endure them. Yes He takes us upon His shoulders, but He lets the consequences of sin work its blessing.
It is exactly as Joseph Smith says in the last paragraph; we cannot tell others what they should do. We must wait with all long-suffering (sometimes because we are asked by God to be a catalyst in that suffering), till God shall bring such characters to justice. There should be no license for sin. We are not to give any, in our homes or in our community, nor in any portions of government. Love is given, but trust is earned and when it is earned, and God deems it earned (and He tells me it is earned), I must extend the same mercy he extends. But I cannot, must not interfere with His plan for any of His children. My role is to obtain His perspective, and play the role that He wants me to play even if it painfully means letting go of the person(s) that are or are not working out their salvation.