When Help Hinders
What is Christ’s pattern for service? He mercifully does for us only what we cannot do for ourselves, he never infringes on our agency, and allows us to suffer the consequences of our own choices. In the Bible dictionary, a portion of the definition of “Grace” is to “receive strength and assistance to do good works that (individuals) otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means. This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation, after they have expended their own best efforts.”
If we follow Christ’s pattern, we will not step in and keep someone from expending their own best efforts. We will not do for others what would strengthen them to do for themselves. To do so sends a powerful crippling message that they aren’t good enough or strong enough to accomplish it on their own.
Are we in service to others when we “help” them do things they should do for themselves? Are we in service to others when we “help” them even for the right purpose with grudging feelings in our hearts? I for one find it very easy to become resentful towards others. Are we in service to others when we let others serve us? This questions points to Christ in so many different ways for me. Through my struggles with Co-dependency, I have an almost impossible time allowing others to help me with the simplest things little lone being in service to me. I always have to appear strong and in control. Any sign of weakness is totally disastrous. As you are well aware I have had a tremendous increase in the headaches I have in both frequency and intensity; which has forced me to accept the help and service of my family members. Accepting help from others especially my family is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to do. I find myself asking, is the God’s purpose for the increase in my headaches, to help me humble myself enough to accept the love and service of others?