Listen...

Listen with affection to anyone who talks, be in their shoes when they talk, try to know them without your mind pressing against theirs, or arguing, or changing the subject. This person is showing you his soul... True listeners know that if you are bad-tempered it does not mean that you are always so. They don't love you just when you are nice; they love all of you. (Brenda Ueland, Strength to Your Sword Arm)

Truth

The truth is the truth even if only you and God know…. When we confess our sins to others, but only the portion that has been revealed, enough to get us out of hot water and enough to make us look forthright, is that really the “truth”? The truth is the truth, even though we confess we have taken four cookies to those in the flesh, God and you know it was actually six. This isn’t about your truth this is about Gods truth.
…
The truth is the truth even if only you and God know….
…
There is a truth in all situations and the truth works sometimes for you and sometimes against your wishes. The truth is Gods wish. You have choices; whether it is to tell the truth, admit the truth or live by the truth, you have choices. No, I didn’t say the truth was easy, no I didn’t say the truth came out in every situation, and no I didn’t say that we could expect the truth from others. What I am saying is that there is always a truth; it may affect us good or bad. Sometimes you may be the only one who knows the truth but God always knows the truth, the whole truth, even when you don’t. God knows it was really six cookies.

You choose how you are going to live; you choose how you are going to confess, you choose how much of the truth you reveal. You choose what to teach your children, you choose how much you’re going to tell your spouse.
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Choose the truth, the whole truth…God “knows” the Truth!

Little something to put things in perspective...

After a forest fire   in Yellowstone National Park:

  

The forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.

  

  

One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.  

  

Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. 

 

When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings.

The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base  of the tree and had gathered them  under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.

 She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies.  

Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body.

The mother had remained steadfast.

She had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.

  

  

 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge." (Psalm 91

  

 
Being loved this much should make a difference in your life.

 
 Remember the One who

loves you, and then be different because of it.

Dream...

Here is a short summary of a dream I had the other night. What do you think it means???? 

There is a small seemingly one room wood sided house, with white paint mostly chipped off sitting on a lot not much bigger than the house. In front of the house there is a huge tree, with thousands of leaves in full blossom. There might be sparse grass under all the junk on the ground in front of the house. In the driveway there are several junk cars, probably not running. I approach from the west I believe there are three large men in colored business shirts standing on the edge of the driveway looking through some papers. I quickly realize they are looking through a used book of yellow carbon copy of temple recommends. I assume they picked up the book from the ground in front of them. I run into the house. I am in an old kitchen. The house is really clean. I turn and run back out and up the street. The men jump into a car and chase me. The house is on the bottom edge of a very large open gorge. I run across the bottom and up the road on the west side of the gorge. As the men chase me up this one lane dirt road, I am suddenly told to run off the road into the gorge. Without question I do. Not surprisingly I am standing in the air over the gorge. The men’s car crashes down the rocky side of the gorge. I noticed for a moment what seems like the first time. There are several cars down there. I realize I have done this several times. I turn and run back toward the house (across the air of the gorge.) I am told from somewhere “At all cost, protect the family secret” I agree back to where the direction comes from. I remember thinking it would have been easier to fly and not run.

Intentions...

Today let’s think about our intentions.  The word suggests to many of us the vast gap between what we intend to do and what we actually do.  We intendto be kind and tolerant, but some uncontrollable impulse changes our attitude into something we later find ourselves regretting.  We intend to accomplish so much, but unless we start out with a realistic estimate of what we are capable of doing, we fall far short of our expectations.  We intend to make a good life for ourselves and our families, but we seem constantly to be deflected from it by others.  Or we permit the actions of others to prevent us from fulfilling what we hoped to do.

My intentions are good.  When I do not fulfill them, I am disappointed; I may even be weighed down by a sense of guilt.  How can I avoid this?  I will try to clarify my intentions. Decide what I really mean to do, say and accomplish.  This will help me keep my life on a satisfactory, productive course.

“Let me first be sure what I intend and the reasons for my choices; this will guide my thoughts into constructive channels, and keep me from attempting the impractical or impossible”.

(Celebra Tueli)

Again, remember that when we set our expectations too high, we set ourselves up for disappointments.

Remove Your Burdens

Remove Your Burdens-Ro Paxman

You just can't begin to imagine how this cartoon hit home for me. I struggle to a large degree with headaches as you are all well aware by now. The depression that comes from being in pain both physically, mentally, and emotionally is overwhelming. If letting go...and...letting God is as simple as removing a heavy coat, why is it so hard for me to do?

I have started to write again, and as I develop the important points of where I came from and my perception of what my childhood was. I find myself overly cautious of the possible readership of my writing. What if so-n-so reads this. They will be hurt, mad, and likely in firm disagreement. Do I tell them it is fiction? Do I tell them this is how I remember life, and risk validating their feelings? 

Some of the heaviest burdens I feel is from my own wild and crazy rantings. Now that is something that I can work on. It is something I can let go...and...let God. My imagination is a crazy place full of wonderment and torment all at the same time. Go figure.

When Help Hinders

When Help Hinders

(Darla Isackson)

          What is Christ’s pattern for service?  He mercifully does for us only what we cannot do for ourselves, he never infringes on our agency, and allows us to suffer the consequences of our own choices.  In the Bible dictionary, a portion of the definition of “Grace” is to “receive strength and assistance to do good works that (individuals) otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means.  This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation, after they have expended their own best efforts.”

      If we follow Christ’s pattern, we will not step in and keep someone from expending their own best efforts.  We will not do for others what would strengthen them to do for themselves.  To do so sends a powerful crippling message that they aren’t good enough or strong enough to accomplish it on their own.

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     Are we in service to others when we “help” them do things they should do for themselves? Are we in service to others when we “help” them even for the right purpose with grudging feelings in our hearts? I for one find it very easy to become resentful towards others. Are we in service to others when we let others serve us? This questions points to Christ in so many different ways for me. Through my struggles with Co-dependency, I have an almost impossible time allowing others to help me with the simplest things little lone being in service to me. I always have to appear strong and in control. Any sign of weakness is totally disastrous. As you are well aware I have had a tremendous increase in the headaches I have in both frequency and intensity; which has forced me to accept the help and service of my family members. Accepting help from others especially my family is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to do. I find myself asking, is the God’s purpose for the increase in my headaches, to help me humble myself enough to accept the love and service of others?

The New Year

Here we are in a new year. Many people are making “New Year’s Resolutions” with the best intention of keeping them. Others aren’t making any resolutions, just because they are tired of failing one more time. I am to that point; I just can’t bear to fail one more time. Secretly, I have thoughts of losing 20 lbs, and getting healthy. What changes in my life would I have to make in order to make a resolution like getting healthy possible? I believe that most resolutions are set to broad, and that is why people seem to fail. Yes, it is absolutely essential to dream big and set high goals. More essential is setting the steps you intend to take to achieve the big resolutions… What steps am I willing to take to achieve big resolutions in my life?

For the past couple years, I’ve heard about “The Word of the Year” It is where you pick a word that you want to represent you in the coming year. I’ve heard words like; faith, intentional, purpose, love, present, and so on…. I’ve wanted to, I’ve tried, and put a lot of thought into it; I haven’t been able to come up with a word the past several years.

I’ve talked about vision boards before, so I won’t go into much detail about building a vision board again. The question I have is, will the use of a vision board and/or finding my “word” give me what I need to find the steps and the courage to take the steps necessary to achieve the big resolutions in life?

Top 8 Things To A Better Life

1. Faith in Christ and His Atoning Sacrifice-With everything I do and everything I am it is a moment to moment journey to have Faith and allow Christ to guide my path back home.
   
   
2. Live Your Truth-It is so easy to be sucked into the worldly life. All I have to do is, watch T.V., read a magazine, envy the latest fashions everyone around me is wearing. To live with personal integrity can seem difficult. To even figure out what my personal integrity is even more difficult. I took some time in the past couple months and really searched from the basics to the depth of who I am and how I want to reflect Christ-like love in my life.
   
   
3. Family- Through my healing I have been blessed with a loving and patient family to love and help me. I very special love has blossomed and bloomed in my heart towards my family. A gift of letting go, comes the gift of a new love. I have always loved my family, but in my weaknesses. I am being made strong with the gift of a new love.
   
   
4. Just Say No- In the idea of letting go. I am learning that saying no, can be one of the kindest and most loving word in the English language. I challenge you to find out what that means for you. I am still learning what a blessing this can be for the people I love and for myself....
   
   
5. Friendship- For me it has been a critical part of my healing to develop close and bonded friendships with people that might eventually hurt me. My list of friends is still rather small, but that's ok. I'm still learning how to nourish these friendships in a loving and appropriate way.
   
   
6. Simplicity- Money and spending money doesn't buy happiness. Time, buys more happiness than anything else in this life. Reflecting on the memories made in times of joy and sorrow is what brings us closer to our loved ones and to our Heavenly Father's plan. One of the most simplest things I love is sitting at the kitchen table first thing in the morning and watching out the window. It almost seems like I could see the leaves on the tress change to their beautiful fall colors. As the geese flew south for the winter in their instinctive V, is most precious.
   
   
7. Creativity- I recently discovered that I am creative. Wow, who would have known. I have always “copied” everyone else's creativity. As I was in the mist of just such a thing, I was lead another direction and when I was finished I couldn't recognize the original thing I set out to copy. I created all on my own...I loved it. Creativity will become part of living my truth.
   
   
8. Have Vision- I created a “vision board” several years ago, just because I heard it worked miracles...LOL I didn't have to much heart in it, but still. And step by step everything came to be. I sat looking at my vision board and realized that everything on my board had come to be realized. I decided to create a new vision board. It took weeks to search for the items on wanted on my board. Most all of the items weren't tangible like they had been on my previous board. It was hard for others to understand my board, to me it was perfectly clear. As I have developed more and more vision on my board I have in my life as well. I challenge you to find your vision as well.

Gifts of Christmas

I have had the most amazing Christmas season ever. Nothing is really any different. We are still financially strapped to give the gifts that are on the kids wish list. We still are just us, feeling basically separated from family. So what is so different that has made this Christmas season so amazing?

I can only hope that my heart has turned more toward Christ, and His eternal love. I have loved spending time with my family. I have loved reliving the memories through scrapbooking them as they happen. We haven't done anything extraordinary, unless you consider sitting around the table playing card games, eating popcorn, and watch a Christmas movie in the background. Ok, Ok, I guess that is extraordinary...

I am so thankful that Christ came to this earth for me and for you. He came to rescue me from my own Hell. Christ sacrificed His physical life, that I may live for eternity in His light and love.

As I wish you all a Merry Christmas, I pray that you find Christ and His love for you in this extraordinary season. 

How Many Imperfections Do I Have?

“Is it possible to develop discipleship when one has no initial, inner desires for discipleship? I don't know. Can we plant inner "desires" in someone against their will? External exhortation of such individuals won't usually produce much change. For most of us, however, even when the inner desire is there, it requires periodic sharpening of some outward circumstances to quicken any existing inner desires and to get us to act upon these. It was so with Abraham. Abraham desired a better life, more happiness, and the blessings of the holy priesthood (see Abraham 1:1-2). Outward circumstances were a spur to Abraham's yearnings, but clearly he had firm and basic desires of discipleship.

It's different in the case of prodigals, in the sense that turning away from the world and toward God, toward home, requires of them to make what I call the Great Pivot. This Great Pivot begins slowly and tentatively when the mind perceives what is in comparison with what might be. This represents the first tentative steps in the process of beginning to develop "the mind of Christ" (1 Corinthians 2:16).

…So, the lingering question should not be "How many imperfections do I have?" but, rather, "Is my discipleship sufficiently serious that I am working patiently and steadily to overcome those weaknesses, perhaps even changing some of them into strengths?" (See Ether 12:27.)”

Elder Neal A. Maxwell, Brigham Young University on 27 March 1994.

Are You Running Too Fast?

Sitting in the half-dark room, I confided to my Father In Heaven that I felt like a failure. I couldn't measure up to the expectations that life had for me.

• I had two young children, and I grandson. I found myself racing through the day trying to meet their needs.
  
  
• Our particular family's needs required that I cut coupons, and research ways to save money.
  
  
• I struggled with physical challenges and found myself facing depression, body aches, and of course headaches.
  
  
• I longed to serve and lift others who needed support.
  
  
• I needed time away from my burdens to participate in activities that lifted my spirits; however, I was finding it difficult to manage the time requirements of preparing for these activities.
  
  
• My mother and grandmother always made homemade bread. They bottled fruit, quilted, and sewed their children's clothing. I felt uncomfortable that I couldn't squeeze these activities into my days.
  
  
• I carried church service responsibilities and wanted to do as well as I could with these positions as I love to serve the Lord.

My list went on and on, and as I talked, tears streamed down my face. My chest felt heavy, and I supposed I would never measure up.

Once I had finished, my Heavenly Father quietly said, "Tisha, don't try to run faster than you are able."

It was classic Dad-wisdom gleaned from years of studying Scripture. When he has some advice for me, it was usually well said and directly on target, if I listen. I knew he was right. I was trying to run faster than I was able.

I have since heard it said that you can do many things in this life, but you can't do them all at once. Every life stage has its own requirements, and it's up to us to decide what's most important for us to do at any given moment. While we are deciding what we can or can't do, we need to be careful that we balance the following needs:

• Spiritual
• Physical
• Social
• Emotional

When I look back on that time, I can see that the pressure I experienced was self-imposed, largely because I believed I was being judged by other people. I thought that if I didn't scurry about, filling every waking moment with superb activities, I was failing my Heavenly Father. I knew that He had given me great gifts and believed that He wished me to use them, but I failed to understand that He didn't expect me to use them all at one time.

It has only been a couple years since my Heavenly Father told me to only run as fast as I am able. I periodically forget His advice, and when I do, I find myself frantic and downhearted. But the words come back to me, and I say again, "Thanks, Dear Father. You're right. I'll only run as fast as I am able."

I have discovered through the years that even though it might appear at any given moment that I am not accomplishing very much, in hindsight I have accomplished a lot. I've been able to go school, work with my horses, stretch my creativity through preserving my family history, work in exciting positions for large companies, run my own business, and yes, even make homemade bread once in a while.

But I did not do it all at once. I've been married for almost 16 years, and all of these activities – and more – have been dribbled throughout the years of my life in a measured way. It is only upon reflection that I can see how much I have been able to complete despite the periods of time when all I could manage was a slow crawl.

If you happen to be someone who feels torn by life and the things you feel you must do, I would advise you to take a breath and try to understand that as long as you are doing the best you can in any given moment, it is enough.

Until tomorrow, I will do the best I can today.

You Caught Me...

Yep, I know that I haven't posted this week. I've been down with a headache again. I am finally feeling like I am among the living again. Thank you to everyone, who recognized that I haven't posted and checked in on me....I love you for your thoughtfulness. 


I am planning on spending the weekend writing some post, so that when I become unavailable again,  I will have them ready for you...


Have a great weekend and I will look forward to seeing you here on Monday. May Angels Walk With You. 

Merry Christmas

I would like to take a moment to wish each of you a very merry Christmas season. I know that I don't know many of you, and definitely don't know your trials and hardships. My prayers are always with you. I'm so thankful that I have this opportunity to share my story with you, and I hope you are uplifted in some way. May Angles Walk With You...

The Best Day

What More Can I Say????

Creativity...

Creativity...what is it? As you are likely well aware of, I LOVE to scrapbook. I especially love looking at other people's beautiful works of art in their scrapbook pages. Although, I've always loved to scrapbook and preserve memories there is something missing in my creativity. Sure there is a creative evolution in my scrapbook pages from plain simple paper pages to now creating digital pages. Evolution isn't what's missing in my scrapbooking. Somewhat, evolution is part of the problem, fear. Fear is the driving factor of what is missing in my scrapbooking process.

I have been holding back because of my fear. In the past I've created amazing scrapbook pages, they are completely copied from someone else's pages, or they are templates. I've been afraid to express my creativity to the point I didn't even know what it was. How crazy does this sound?

Recently, I've opened up and found a new creative side. I think that writing this blog has had a lot to do with that. This blog is similar to a food journal...I hold myself accountable here. I have to be honest. No I don't write or at least publish everything I think. I believe somethings are still personal.

I downloaded some new templates a few days ago. I started working on a template, and suddenly saw a creation much different from the template. There were some things I still liked about the template, but ideas started to just flow. When the page was finished the original template was unrecognizable. I was and still am so excited! Somehow, by some miracle I have been set free. The fear to express myself is gone, and a whole new me has blossomed. Sure I will still lean on other people's ideas. There is no sense or need to recreate the wheel. But I will freely allow what inspires me to show it's self through not just my scrapbook pages, but also through how I live my life. What inspires you?

This is MY Scrapbook page...I hope you love it as much as I do.

December Stree

I know that December can be hyper stressful, at least it can be for me. I've been thinking...How can I lower my holiday stress level?

Over the past few weeks, I've been working on getting a new furnace. Since I live in a rural area, services life furnace’s can be very hectic and time consuming. Keeping my family warm in the winter here is highly important to me. I felt a push from within to get the new furnace installed. Instead, I choose to step back, and allow the flow of this process. I'm so excited that I did, because....

Everything is working out perfectly. Hoot Hoot, I'm so thankful that I can finally flow with the flow of life. I aint sayin' that I don't want what I want and want it now. Yep, that was meant to be confusing, because when I'm in that place it is confusing.

I am learning that it is great to want, it helps give me direction and of course forward motion. Within that want, freedom is found in giving into the natural flow. Things tend to blossom beyond my wants within this freedom.

I also want to comment on how wonderful people are. When I'm willing to follow the flow, people respond more willingly, kindly, and fast. I'm not saying that it's alright to pretend to go with the flow with a motive to get people to respond the way I want. It isn't...Sincerity is key.

Clean Out Your Closet...

This was just to beautiful to not share.  I'm sure like many of you, I think there is nothing better than spending the day listening to my favorite music and cleaning out my closet. 

Dorothy Hulst has written,

As the physically weak woman can make herself strong by careful and patient training, so the woman of weak thoughts can make them strong by exercising herself in right thinking.

To put away [weak and negative thoughts] and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; and make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully. [Dorothy Hulst, As a Woman Thinketh, a transcription for women of James Allen's essay As a Man Thinketh (Marina Del Rey, California: DeVorss and Company), p. 41]

It is possible to live with all your power in the present. You can replace old doubts with new hopes. So clean out that closet in your mind and haul a load of needless negative baggage off to D.I.

The Holy Present...

What is the holy present and why is it so hard to stay in it??? Elder Neal A. Maxwell in a devotional talk January 1999, taught the jumping to conclusions takes us away from living in the holy present.

I'm at fault of jumping to conclusions frequently. As a matter of fact, I'm in the middle of doing it right now. There has been a simple lack of communication between me and my brother. I was hoping for a much different result in a situation than I got. Immediately, I jumped to negative conclusions and of course a personal pity party. There is a list of “he should haves...” and I better than box way of being in that I began this, by calling him first. There is also a victim stance in that he should realize I've been sick and taken extra effort because of it.

I can't live in the present little lone the holy present, when I'm living in my own personal Hell. How could I have stayed in the holy present through this situation? I know that my brother has some life challenges. Wouldn't it have been more constructive if I would have considered my brother's life challenges, before jumping to conclusions?

I have wasted unnumbered amounts of time over this. I also wasted someone else's time by expressing how my feelings were hurt over this and of course pouring out the blame. Peace can only be found in the holy present. Even though my brother doesn't know that I've jumped to these conclusions, I still owe him and open and honest apology. I sincerely, love my brother, and know that he is doing everything in his power to support our relationship while juggling his trials and struggles in his own life. 

Naturally and Freely...

Yesterday was my birthday...The birthday wishes started pouring in around 4:00 a.m. and continued in a steady stream until late last night. I enjoyed the most marvelous day with my dearest friend. I felt so surrounded by love, that I was lifted up from all the cares in the world.

I could have never dreamed this gift at any point in my life. As I have struggled feeling that I have to ALWAYS be proving myself to everyone, and earning everyone's love this day has come as an overwhelming and uplifting surprising gift. I can be acknowledged for who I am, my accomplishments, and my artistic style. I can simply be loved.

I know I have bad days, where I can be devastatingly hard on myself and others. I have a sweet feeling that this feeling of being loved and accepted will sustain me and make these times less inpactful and therefore more profound in there own right to my life.

I also feel my heart opening and blossoming life a rose toward everyone in my life. Naturally, and freely.