When Help Hinders
(Darla Isackson)
What is
Christ’s pattern for service? He
mercifully does for us only what we cannot do for ourselves, he never infringes
on our agency, and allows us to suffer the consequences of our own
choices. In the Bible dictionary, a
portion of the definition of “Grace” is to “receive strength and assistance to
do good works that (individuals) otherwise would not be able to maintain if
left to their own means. This grace is
an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and
exaltation, after they have expended their own best efforts.”
If we follow Christ’s pattern, we will not
step in and keep someone from expending their own best efforts. We will not do for others what would
strengthen them to do for themselves. To
do so sends a powerful crippling message that they aren’t good enough or strong
enough to accomplish it on their own.
Are we in service
to others when we “help” them do things they should do for themselves? Are we
in service to others when we “help” them even for the right purpose with
grudging feelings in our hearts? I for one find it very easy to become
resentful towards others. Are we in service to others when we let others serve
us? This questions points to Christ in so many different ways for me. Through
my struggles with Co-dependency, I have an almost impossible time allowing
others to help me with the simplest things little lone being in service to me.
I always have to appear strong and in control. Any sign of weakness is totally disastrous.
As you are well aware I have had a tremendous increase in the headaches I have
in both frequency and intensity; which has forced me to accept the help and
service of my family members. Accepting help from others especially my family
is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to do. I find myself
asking, is the God’s purpose for the increase in my headaches, to help me
humble myself enough to accept the love and service of others?
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