Probably one of the most valuable gifts during my healing journey, to me was self awareness. Until I understood the problem honestly, I was at a complete loss to help myself. For example my need to control. It was through self awareness that I realized my control issues were fear induced.
My fear is being afraid that I am going to lose something I have; or not get something I want. Fear distorted how I saw the world; and how I thought that the world saw me. I lived in a constant state of alertness always on guard.
As we are approaching gardening season, I've been considering the commitments I've made to my garden, my family, and my life. If I don't want a weed to grow back I never just pull the top off, I must pull it up by the root. I also have an obligation to teach this principle to my children. What further lessons, can be taught as well? Admitting the Exact nature of my wrongs is pulling these self-destructive problems out by the roots. Step 4 and 5 do not allow self-deception. Without cleansing myself through self-honesty and self-forgiveness, my destructive behaviors will just lie dormant waiting for the first opportunity to come back & come back they will, just like all weeds will. (Idea concept borrowed from Co-dependent Life)
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